LTYM OKC 2017 cast – The Table Read

Yesterday, I traveled to Oklahoma City to meet my fellow cast members for Listen to Your Mother 2017. The first table read is always the most emotional day. No matter how giddy and nervous I am when I get to the rehearsal space, by the end, I just want to rock in a corner with a box of tissues. The women who audition for this show are brave and bold. I’m ecstatic to join them and go on this adventure one more time.

Ghosts of Listen to Your Mother Past

This will be my third year to take the stage at Listen to Your Mother (LTYM). In 2013, I was part of the original Kansas City cast where I shared the story, Mama Knows, an emotional tale of my daughter’s brave battle with a rare brain disorder – Vein of Galen Malformation (VOGM). In 2016, I traveled the other direction and joined the Oklahoma City cast where I lightened the mood with Parenthood – You’ve Got 10 Seconds, Live It Up. The tone of the stories is not the only difference in these two videos. There is also the issue of about 20 extra pounds. Yikes! But food is so good, you guys.

Oh, you’re a LTYM alum, that’s cute, sit down….

If you think being a LTYM alum means I was prepared for anything and nothing could phase me, well, my friend, you’ve never attended THE Table Read.

The first rehearsal is actually a bit of a surreal experience. A few weeks before, cast members are introduced online. You might get brief glimpses of your new pals by stalking their Facebook posts and Instagram pictures, but we all know social media can be a veiled view. Except mine. I tend to share every damn thing, much to the embarrassment of my children and the delight of my husband (Doug) who has become a bit of a Facebook sensation even though he doesn’t even have an account. #dougie #somanly

For me, walking into the rehearsal space for the first time is like walking into class on the first day of school. I scan the room for people I know, make sure I’ve located the nearest restroom and candy machine, and then I sit quietly because nervous awkward outbursts are kind of my specialty.

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Performed at Listen To Your Mother 2016 in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

VIDEO PERFORMANCE HERE! 

Don’t blink…time flies…

A few years ago I attended a baby shower. I’m a sucker for these pastel-colored gatherings because I love to shop in the baby section and look at all the onesies, footie pajamas, and other tiny things. Plus, I still swoon when I smell Johnson’s baby shampoo. The only thing that smells better is the intoxicating scent of a baby’s neck. As the mother of an 11-year-old girl, and 15-year-old boy, I don’t do a lot of neck sniffing anymore. Oh sure, I still try but then I’m reminded it’s weird and I should respect their personal space.

During the baby shower we were all given index cards and told to write our best piece of advice to the new mother.

My pen hovered in the air as I looked at the six lines on the card. How could I ever tell a new mother everything she needs to know about this baby business in just six lines? That’s a lot of pressure. I mean, I thought I was going to spend a few hours looking at miniature socks, discreetly sniffing all the baby bath products and eating cake. I was not prepared to dole out advice of this magnitude.

Should I focus on her physical well-being? Remind her that even though her body is a birth-machine and milk factory, it still belongs to her and she should probably wash it regularly. Tell her that even though the experts say, “sleep when the baby sleeps,” that watching back-to-back episodes of House of Cards on Netflix can be just as rejuvenating.

My mind suddenly became a flip-book of motherhood scenes from the last 15 years. So many things that caught me by surprise, like cleaning the never-ending crevices on miniature downstairs boy parts. I don’t know how many times I shouted, “It’s like cleaning a friggin’ Shar Pei in here. That’s it. One more diaper explosion and we’re sending him to the dog groomer.”

Finally, I settled on the one thing I knew to be true about parenthood so I wrote, It’s all a phase. So get through the bad and cherish the good. Someday you’ll wonder where the time went.

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