Dani Stone

I Hear Laugh Tracks


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How Twinkie The Kid Saved A 1980s Road Trip

Last week, Hostess Brands announced it would be closing its operations permanently, following an employee strike. Already in financial decline, CEO, Gregory Rayburn explained, “We do not have the financial resources to weather an extended nationwide strike.” Thus, the company known for creating iconic cream-filled goodies including Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Zingers and Cupcakes started to (bad pun alert) crumble before our eyes.

Upon hearing the news of Hostess’ demise, Americans reacted in true blue opportunistic fashion. Outlet stores were immediately raided and store shelves were emptied. News crews interviewed tooth-challenged customers carting armfuls of Twinkie boxes to their cars and today on ebay I noticed box after box of delicious trans-fat cream- cakes listed for as much as 300 dollars. Ohhh, America, your greed is adorable.

Hostess products like Wonder Bread and Zingers were a big part of my childhood. They were my go-to snacks for sack lunches and in elementary school we even got to take a field trip to the local manufacturing plant. At the end of the tour we received a mini loaf of bread to take home. At the time I collected miniatures and was highly irritated my mother wouldn’t let me add the teeny bread loaf to my shadow box. I was ten, mold was beyond my comprehension.

My best ode to Hostess, however, is a story few people know about. My childhood bestie, Kim (Koerner) May and I simply refer to it as, “Twinkie Time.” It’s the story about two young girls, a dark crowded Oklahoma highway and how Twinkie the Kid saved us from a complete mental breakdown.

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Weather-pocalypse – The Storm-Hoarding Tale

I’m a Kansas girl. I say y’all, have an affinity for overalls on tiny children (not grown men without shirts) and when it’s tornado season, I get fluttery nervous butterflies in my tummy because I respect the twister. And I don’t mean the 1996 blockbuster movie with Helen Hunt and Chet from Weird Science. Though, come on, that movie was AWESOME!

Today I’m sitting here on the eve of our first major “spring weather event” and even though I’ve already carved out a space in our basement storm shelter, a.k.a picture, garage sale, camping gear storage room, and I’m watching Weather Channel radar so intently you’d think the storms are promising to drop Little Debbie snack cakes from the clouds, I’m vowing to remain calm. I’m the calm one.

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